Help Me Find It...

This song is one that resonates so deeply with me lately. I can't get enough of it. I sing it. I shout it. I pray it. God has used it to touch my heart and grant me peace, so I want to share it with all of you. The lyrics are in bold, my comments are italicized. The music video is below. 

Help Me Find It 

I don't know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I'm finding I can't do this on my own

The next step in life has always been "clear." After elementary school, I went to junior high. After junior high, I went to high school and college. After college, I got a job. There was never a question about the next step--until now. What's next? For the first time in my life, it's not set out before me… 

I don't know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I'm done fighting, I'm finally letting go

Letting go--a seriously difficult but incredible thing. I have no idea what the next step is, but my God does. He has each of my days written in His book, and I can wait patiently on Him. The next step doesn't matter as much as serving, loving, and living with my God. 

I will trust in You
You've never failed before
I will trust in You

He has NEVER failed before. Why would I doubt Him now? My God has brought me through the most difficult times in my life, and I know that I can trust in Him no matter what. 

If there's a road I should walk
Help me find it if I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will, whatever Your will

"Whatever Your will" has been my prayer. If I'm to stay exactly where I am and continue serving as I am, then I'll be still. If there is something else ahead for me, I'll embrace it with God's help. 

Can you help me find it?
Can you help me find it?

I'm giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt, You give me grace
For every step I've never been alone

Yes, I am content. Yes, I know that God's will is good. But, does that mean that I don't have bad days? Does that mean that I don't have moments of doubt? Of course not. However, my God is a God of AMAZING grace, and He is always quick to give me grace when I struggle with fear and doubt. He will never leave me or forsake me. 

Even when it hurts, You'll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath, You've never let me go

Sometimes it does hurt. Sometimes there are tears. But, my God is always good and just. 

I will wait for You
You've never failed before
I will wait for You

In God's grace alone, I will wait. 

If there's a road I should walk
Help me find it if I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will, whatever Your will

Can you help me find it?
Can you help me find it?

I lift my empty hands
(Come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King
(I give my all to You)

And as I wait, I will worship and learn and love. 

I lift my eyes again
(Was blind but now I see)
'Cause You are all I need

If there's a road I should walk
Help me find it if I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will, whatever Your will

Can you help me find it?
Can you help me find it?

Can you help me find it? 

My SLO Day.

It's been far too long since I've been to SLO, and I really wanted a chance to see Bailey again (she was on my Romania team last summer), so I thought I'd head over for the day today.

My day began (far too) early for a Saturday, but after the initial hatred of my alarm clock, I got up and going. I knew it would be worth it.

I headed out of town with my green smoothie in hand (more on that in a later post) and a book on tape playing. I must say, unless you're trying to stay awake, a book on tape is an excellent way to pass the time. Today I chose When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert. Check it out here on Amazon. I'm only a couple hours into it, but I really like it so far.

I got to SLO without issue and headed over to Aimee's house (an added bonus after I texted her yesterday to see if she was free). I loved seeing her adorable house. It brought back quite a few college apartment and roommate memories.

We headed over to a new, super cute coffee/tea shop in downtown SLO (Scout) where we ran into Jen Stangland. I seriously love unexpected meetings like that. It just warmed my heart. It was so good to sit down and catch up with Aimee and hear a bit about Jen's life as well--not to mention, my sparking tea was AWESOME.

After a while, we headed over to Poly to pick up Bailey--again, SO good to see her. We headed to none other than FIRESTONE (complete with a basket of fries) for lunch. How can you not, right? Delicious!

After lunch, we wandered around downtown and ate some TeaBerry Yogurt--umm YUM! Since I was wearing my LB sweatshirt, and since I didn't have a Cal Poly sweatshirt (even though Brother went there), I decided it was time to make a purchase. I pretty much fell like deep like with a beautiful green sweatshirt (and Aimee just happened to have a coupon--score!). Needless to say, I put it on immediately. I felt like I fit in a fit better.

Like it? I hope more than you like Bubblegum Alley! As iconic as it is, it really is DISGUSTING! Poor Bailey was a bit worried about her hair (understandably). 

Love these girls!

Aimee hung out for a bit longer before heading back home to study. Bailey and I continued to hang out downtown (as it began to rain a bit more). We found an AWESOME used book store, and I had to restrain from buying a few awesome books. 

Bailey, isn't it a pain growing up?? :)

As we were wandering through the record store, I get a text from Kurt asking if I was in SLO. And guess what? He came to hang out for a bit. So fun! My heart was happy with all of these friends around all day. 

As the rain got progressively stronger, and I began to whine a bit more about my hair turning curly (to which Bailey just glared at me), we decided to head back to Bailey's dorm. 

See that? It was a starting to spiral curl in the front while the rest under the hood stayed straight. Add some frizz to that and you have a great look--not!

We arrived at her red brick, and let me tell you, the crazy memories came FLOODING back. It looked JUST LIKE MY DORM! I was thrown back (cough cough) almost ten years. WHAT? She lives on the 3rd floor, in the very first room--same as I did. Weird! 

Aaaand, know what's weirder!?! I met the older sister of one of my students! No joke. She's friends with Bailey and lives in the same dorm. We live in a seriously small world, folks. 

I hung out for a bit before heading back home. No book on tape this time--Old School Jams playlist all the way. Talk about memories! 

Although it's a lot of driving, and my feet weren't super happy with me the whole time, it was all worth it. God not only blessed me with seeing Aimee and Bailey, but with a few unexpected surprises as well. Love that! I can't wait to go back!

Top 13 of 2013

Two years ago I started posting my Top ## list of the previous year. To check out the Top 11 of 2011 post, click here! To read about my Top 12 of 2012, click here!

And today I present to you…. The Top 13 of 2013 (in chronological order)! 

1. I got bangs! I've never been a fan of changing my hair, but I decided to do something drastic (for me) this past year, and I got bangs! Check out the post HERE! 

2. Brother and Polly got MARRIED! They had an AWESOME celebration in March of this past year. To read more about it, click HERE! 

3. I found a new (awesome) doctor at USC Medical Center. I was FINISHED with the doctors in town, so I did some research and found a great doctor at USC. Read about that HERE! 

4. Mom and I were on the KATIE COURIC show! Well, we were in the audience, but they showed us on TV! It was AMAZING. Check it out HERE and HERE! 

5. I wrote my first ever blog series (if you'd even call it that) on singleness. It began with a letter to "The Church" from the perspective of a single person, and it continued on through How to Deal series. Click on the following links to check them out:

Dear Church,

How to Deal 1.0

How to Deal 2.0

How to Deal 3.0

How to Deal 4.0 

6. I FLEW a helicopter! Yes, I flew a helicopter, and it was difficult, but AWESOME! Check out the post HERE! 

7. I led a team to Romania! As you probably know, this wasn't my first Romanian rodeo, but it was the first time I LED a team. It was challenging and awesome and heart breaking and full of joy all at the same time. I wrote a post each day we were gone. For the first post, click HERE. If you're interested in the rest of the trip, just use the options on the right hand side and click on June of 2013. 

8. I moved classrooms (again!). I'm now a proud resident of portable alley at Warren. I've been wanting to move to a portable for quite some time, and this past summer I was finally able to. I LOVE being out with my buddies and having my own four walls. I also have a pretty awesome view out of my back window. Love! Check out the post HERE! 

9. I fed a giraffe! In July, my mom's parents took us on a family vacation to San Diego. We had a blast and got to do all kinds of fun things, but a highlight was definitely going on a special safari at the Wild Animal Park and actually feeding giraffes. Read more about it HERE! 

10. I served on my first jury. Now, I wouldn't say this was one of my favorite parts of 2013, but it definitely was one of the most impactful. It was heart wrenching and a bit scary. It was frustrating. It was challenging. It was empowering. To read more about it, click HERE. 

11. Mama turned #0 and we had an AWESOME celebration weekend. Scott, Polly, Mama, and I ate fresh seafood on the pier, played games in an arcade, visited the spaceship at the CA Science Center, ate Peruvian food, created "masterpieces" at a Paint and Pour party, and made some great memories together. Check out pictures and more details HERE! 

12. Nicole and Nathan moved back from England and Mikey was born! It has been so great being able to spend time with Nathan and Nicole while they're here for a short bit (before moving to Miami), and their little miracle baby Mikey was born in November in Bakersfield. I've loved every little minute I've gotten to spend with this precious baby. To read about the miracle of Nicole finding out she was pregnant, click here! 

13. I did a 5k!! This, my friends, is kind of a big deal. :) To read about it and see all of the pictures, click HERE! 

2013 was definitely a year to remember, but here's looking forward to a new year, new possibilities, and new memories! 

This One Time, I Did a 5k!

If you would have asked me this time last year if I'd EVER do a 5k (or any kind of "race") I would have probably laughed in your face. I couldn't imagine ever paying to run (or walk or whatever). And, this time last year I couldn't imagine walking for any significant amount of time. If I only knew!

A few months back, when I was searching for the number to my USC doctor, I came across a banner for the 5k/10k Quench the Fire Walk/Run/Roll on the USC Pain Center website. WHAT?!? A 5k for my syndrome?! Sweet! I was in. I gathered up some friends, registered, and got my walk on.

On December 7th, we tried (though there was a NASTY storm) to head down south to Van Nuys. Much to our dismay, the Grapevine was closed, so we had to drive ALL. THE. WAY. AROUND. It took FOREVER (and by forever I mean about 6 and 1/2 hours!). At least we got to see the ocean…

Sunday, the day of the race, was FREEZING! Well, just about freezing… I believe it was 34 degrees that morning as we headed out to the race. We bundled all up and wandered around the booths before the race began. 

Here we are with some LA Kings dudes!

Here's our team: CRPS Crushers!

Can you guess which one is me? Yes, I had to walk the 5k in flip-flops. The fire feet would certainly not tolerate being covered for 3.1 miles. They warmed up quite well quite quickly!

Check out the race route! It was BEAUTIFUL! 

Manda and me finishing the race! We walked 3.1 miles in under 43 minutes (barely). Not bad. Aaaand, we didn't even come in last! :)

After the race, we wandered around a bit and waited for some raffle drawings. Here is the CRPS quilt that has been all over the country!

MacGyver was the MC of the race! We went to get his autograph afterward and I learned that we have the same doctor! We had a nice little chat about our doc and pain issues. Poor dude couldn't even walk the mile this year. He was impressed that I did the 5k in flip flops. Haha. I told him I'd walk the 5k with him next year. We had a moment. ;)

After wrapping things up at the race and packing things up back at the hotel, we headed home. It was quite a SHORT trip compared to our journey down, AND we had this amazing view for much of the way. No wonder the Grapevine has closed the day before!

I certainly had a blast at the race (and the entire weekend). I can't wait until next year. Perhaps I'll even be able to wear shoes!

Who's in?!?


If you're curious about RSD/CRPS, click here!

Christmas Craftiness

Each Christmas I like to make a special present for my cousins' kids. I pretty much adore them, so I enjoy showing them love in this way. This year, I went for the canvas/name craft. It's similar to this canvas I made for my cousin for her birthday, but I added my own background this time.


How to:

Take an 8x10 canvas (or any size you'd like).
Apply a thin layer of Mod Podge.
Place sheet music or Bible pages (or whatever other page you'd like) onto the canvas and smooth it out (it won't get completely smooth).
Apply another layer of Mod Podge onto the top of the page.
Let it dry COMPLETELY.
Once it's dry, take adhesive letters and set them onto the canvas to figure out correct placement (for the shorter names, I used 3" letters, but for the longer names I had to use 1" letters, and I did their first and middle names).
Apply the letters to the canvas.
Paint over the entire thing with whatever color you'd like.
Let it dry (but don't keep the letters on longer than necessary).
Carefully peel the letters off.
Apply yet another layer of Mod Podge to the entire canvas.
Enjoy!

I made nine of them, but here are a few close-ups:

Here they all are!

And here are a couple of pictures of the kiddos opening them on Christmas Eve Eve.

Mary's Magnificent God

My uncle asked me to read Mary's Magnificat and share a few thoughts at his house church's Christmas Eve service this year. Since this service is one of my absolute favorite parts of Christmas, I gladly agreed. I couldn't quite form my thoughts into a cohesive paragraph or two, so as I sat with my pencil and notebook, a poem sort of just popped out. Here is what I shared:


Mary, most ordinary in name
Desiring only and always God's fame
Her nature so lowly and meek
Identity only in God did she seek
A servant so humble and mild
Yet herself just older than a child
When news of a son was brought
Trust and obedience Mary sought
Through the Spirit she'd conceive a baby boy
"Let it be to me," she said with joy
To ensure God's praises would always ring
The Magnificat to our Lord did she sing:

Luke 1:46-55

My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; 
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he sent empty away.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his offspring forever.

In the words of John Piper...

"The only people whose soul can truly magnify the Lord are people like...Mary--people who acknowledge their lowly estate and are overwhelmed by the condescension of the magnificent God."

Craftiness Strikes Again!

I've seen this idea on Pinterest a time or two, but I decided to take it and run with it. I absolutely love giving gifts, and I wanted to make something special for my cousin for her birthday, so I was quite excited to tackle this particular project.

Take a look!

Step 1: Find an awesome picture at Goodwill or another thrift store (preferably one with a neat frame). This one is a canvas.

Step 2: Tape off the frame to prevent paint from bleeding onto it.

Step 3: Get some good adhesive letters of the appropriate size to match your picture and saying.

Step 4: Cut closely around the letters and set them (don't stick them yet!) on the picture to get an idea of correct placement.

Step 5: Peel the back off of the letters and attach them (well!) to the picture.

Step 6: Paint over the entire picture with your desired color (sorry, I didn't take a picture of that step!).

Step 7: Let it dry (just enough!) to the touch (you don't want your letters on there longer than necessary).

Step 8: Peel off the letters!

I LOVE how it turned out! What do you think??