How to Deal 4.0

Today I bring to you the fourth installment in the How to Deal series—exciting, huh? Ok, just humor me… 

In case you missed the first three installments, click below to take a look:

How to Deal 1.0: Music

How to Deal 2.0: Poetry and Writing

How to Deal 3.0: Good Reads

And, if you didn’t catch the post that started this whole How to Deal (with our singleness) business, click below!

A Letter to the Church from a Single Lady

Ok, now that all that’s out of the way, let’s get things started….

How to Deal 4.0: Talk it Out

This is something I’m slooooowly learning how to do (this week has certainly been a stretch). It’s something I often joke about, something that is spoken about flippantly, but rarely is my (our—I’m writing for all of “us”) singleness spoken about in a serious manner. It is rare that we share the raw emotions and honest struggles of our hearts, but we SO SHOULD.

Now, that’s not to say that we should bare our hearts to everyone and walk around sobbing because we’re not married yet. No no no no no! (That's crazy talk....literally.)

There’s a time and place for everything, my friends.

Let’s be wise and discernable and share our hearts with those we can and do trust—close friends, family members, home/small groups, counselors, etc.

Let’s let go of the embarrassment stigma that comes along with still being single, and let’s talk about it. Let’s let go of our pride, let down our guards, and let others know that we’re not always perfect and strong and solid—sometimes it is hard and sometimes it does hurt. Let’s disband this negative stigma that comes with counseling and go see a qualified Christian therapist if we need to (or even if we think we don't....ok, especially when we think we don't). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think everyone should go to counseling—seriously—try it! Yes, it's scary, but it's also so worth it. #youcanthankmelater 

And how about talking to God? Our Father who created us, who knows the depths of our hearts, who developed these desires in our hearts wants us to come to Him—why don’t we turn to Him more often? Let’s fall down at His feet, pour out our hearts to Him, and let Him shower us with a peace and love that no man (or woman) ever could. Go ahead, cry it out—He knows every tear we’ve ever cried. He’ll catch them for us and gently wipe the tears from our cheeks. What could ever be more comforting than that?

Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, we can’t keep this challenge, this struggle, to ourselves—we’ll eventually explode (not healthy…and so not pretty!).

Whether it’s singleness you’re struggling with or some other challenge life has thrown at you, talk it out.

I challenge you to be more open, honest, and raw this next week. Will it be easy? Of course not. Will it be healthy and freeing? I’d bet on it.

…and with that, I bring this How to Deal series to a close. What shall I write about next?