....my stomach does a bit of a flip flop (or a big flip flop). It's hard to believe that July will be over in three days.
A couple days before I left for Europe I got word that I'd be moved to a different Junior High this fall--Warren (I was at Thompson). I'm not sure I can explain all of the emotions that I experienced with that news: shock, fear, intense sadness, anxiety, burden, hope, slight excitement. I cried for quite some time because I absolutely loved Thompson. I had such a deep love for my students, and I couldn't imagine not seeing them next year or being able to say goodbye to them. I was burdened with tearing down a room, packing up all my stuff, moving it all, and setting up a new room. I was anxious and fearful of getting to know a new staff and new procedures. I was worried about having to "prove myself" all over again.
Yet, over and over, God gave me slight glimpses of hope and He continues to do so. For example, I have known the principal and the librarian for years and they are both wonderful people. Small things like that help me to get more and more excited about the move (I wouldn't say I'm jumping for joy, but I'm not completely dissolving in tears either). Warren is an amazing school, and I am sure I will love it once I get everything together and the year is in full swing.
After I found out about the move, I left for Europe and it was fairly easy to ignore. When I got back from Europe I went to Mexico and it was still pretty easy to push aside. Now, however, I am back home and I need to get moving on...well....moving....
That leads me to today. I decided to go back to Thompson for a while this afternoon to begin tearing down my room and packing up. As I drove over there, I couldn't stop thinking about my kids, and I lost it for a few brief minutes (ok, I know I just said that I wasn't still dissolving in tears, and I'm not, this was different--haha). When I got to school, I found our amazing janitor to open my (old?) room, and I held it together pretty well as I went in and turned on the air.
I'm really going to miss this beautiful place...
(I took some stuff down before the end of the year, so it did look even cooler--just sayin')
I was pretty overwhelmed as I just stood trying to figure out where to start. I decided that music was the way to begin, so I untangled some cords and got my phone hooked up to my speakers--now I was getting somewhere (thanks Pandora)! I also knew I had to clean up some files on my computer, so I took care of that next. Fortunately, one of my teaching partners from last year, Diane, and her three girls came shortly thereafter and it was much easier to just be on "work mode" and forget the emotion behind what I was doing.
We cleaned and sorted and took down and organized. If I stopped to think about what I was doing, I would have lost it, so I didn't stop. My room began to look less and less beautiful...
(No more flip flop board...)
(I couldn't bring myself to take down all my pictures yet.)
(What a mess...)
Diane and the girls stayed for a couple of hours before leaving for track practice (thanks so much for your help!). I stayed and worked for a while on my own, but became completely overwhelmed at one point and just had to leave. My room is still a wreck, but it's coming along. Sam agreed to come help me for a while tomorrow afternoon--thank goodness because I'm not sure I can face it on my own.
Have I mentioned anywhere on here that I hate packing? Well, I hate classroom, emotional, overwhelming, not-wanting-to-go packing even more. Lord, give me strength.
Before I close, I need to say a few things:
1. I am completely sad to leave Thompson because I love the school and the kids even more.
2. I am so grateful to have a job.
3. I totally trust in God's sovereignty and I know this is exactly where He wants me to be.
4. I had been praying about a potential move since the end of last year (knowing that it was an outside possibility), asking God to put me where He could use me the most.
5. I'm sure I will come to love Warren and be all about the Wildcats, but I also know that it's alright to be sad right now.
Back to work tomorrow....there's much more to be done. I'll keep you posted with pictures and stories as the process of packing and moving continues.