Thursday, June 6, 2013

TimeHop. Memories. Hope.

Timehop is an app that searches through your Facebook, Instagram, etc. and reminds you of posts you made on that day 1, 2, or 3 years ago. 

This is what I pulled up this morning....

On this day last year, I spent the majority of my day with little Valentin (Jack) in my arms--he was two at the time, but he was still very small and extremely stiff. He wasn't yet sitting up, much less walking.

My team and I went to Rehab (an orphanage for children with disabilities) that day with the intention of taking the kids to the park. Most of the team did just that. However, as the team was heading out, with Jack in my arms, one of the workers suggested that I just stay with him instead. My heart was overjoyed. Haley (of one my teammates), one of the CTL workers, and I stayed in CTL's portion of Rehab with little Jack as the others went to the park. We held him, worked his little arms and legs, sang to him, fed him, and clipped his fingernails.

You see, this little one had scratches all over his face and neck because his fingernails were long and jagged. So, we clipped them. It took maybe two minutes. It may seem like a normal, routine, no-big-deal kind of a thing, but to Jack, it was huge. To us, it was huge. It was a tangible thing we could do to help this little guy. We may never know the impact of our songs or love, but we could see the impact of clipping his nails--and it hit me to my core.

So many different thoughts and emotions flooded over me with the simple act of clipping his fingernails. I was angry that he didn't have parents to take care of him. I was saddened that he was given up. I was devastated for all of the people around the world who so desperately want children to love and care for. I don't understand any of it, but I do understand that God is sovereign and just and good.

As I held Jack in my arms, I couldn't help but think that this could be my baby. I can't explain it, but going to Romania and loving the least of these is so different now that I am of "childbearing age" (for lack of a better word or phrase). God made us women so intricately, and as difficult as it can be, I am so grateful for the love and nurture and protective nature that God has instilled in me.

I could have stayed and cared for this little one forever. I could have loaded him up and taken him with me. I fell in love with him that day. It was so difficult to put him back in his crib as the team returned and it was time for us to leave. I had to walk out holding onto the promise that this was one of God's children, and He would take care of him.

Jack was in good hands with the CTL staff whenever they visited Rehab. I knew other teams would come and go and love on him. I had to entrust him to our amazing Heavenly Father.

Fast forward one year:

I met with DeAnn not too long ago to talk about her recent trip and my upcoming trip to Romania. And guess who she brought up? Jack. She talked about getting him a car seat to help him sit up. She talked about holding him as he just laughed and laughed. My heart was full of hope.

I pray that I'll be able to see this little guy that I fell in love with last year. I pray that I'll get to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I love him and how much God loves him.

I have hope. 

Isus te Iubeste (Jesus loves you)...

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