I'm leaving for Romania four days, and as is my custom, I'm exhausted. I'm frazzled. I'm in pain. I'm weak.
I should be used to it by now, but each year it takes me a bit by surprise just how challenging the week before a trip really is. The variables may change, but it's inevitable that I am emptied of myself prior to heading to Romania.
This time? I'm working this week doing curriculum planning at the district office, so there's no sleeping in for me. I have appointments every day after work to take care of my wacko body. And, I am meeting two amazing friends for dinner two nights this week.
This past week has also been more physically challenging than it normally is. As I just told my chiropractor (because I started writing this in the waiting room and I'll finish during scarce spare moments tonight), my body likes to rebel against me right before I leave to go to Romania. I guess the 100+ degree temperatures don't help the nerve disease that is exacerbated by heat, but my wrists and arms have made their voices heard as well. I get it, body! I'll give you a break at some point--maybe in July...
And packing? What's that? Oh yah, I'll have to throw that in there somewhere along with sleeping sometime in the next few days.
So, why this post? Am I just trying to complain or vent or get people to feel sorry for me? Nope. Not my intention. This post is simply to show that I AM WEAK. I can't possibly make it through this week of my own volition. I can't possibly get on that plane and battle jet lag and a strenuous schedule for the next few weeks of my own strength. I can't do it. There's no way--physically or mentally. I just can't do it.
But, there's good news. My God can. My God will. He always does. He is faithful to empty me of myself so that I may be filled with His power and strength. He is faithful to provide just what I need when I need it. He is faithful to love and serve through me. The Romanian staff and children don't need ME; they need HIM. They need Jesus. If I'm working in my own strength, I'm depriving them of the work Jesus may do through me. I don't want that. Pray against that!
As I was lying in bed exhausted and hot and in pain last night, I picked up one of my favorite devotional books, The Heart of the Matter, and this is what I read:
His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness.
This is my prayer--that Christ's power will be made perfect and beautiful in my weakness...continually.
Will you please pray the same for me?
I must say a huge thank you to all those who have supported me financially and through prayer. I cannot do this alone! I'll do my best to keep you posted about my goings-on here on the blog. Will you do your best to remember the Romanian staff and children and the American interns and teams in your prayers??
Please pray that...
- I will be continually emptied that I may be filled with Christ.
- I will be careful to listen to the Spirit and obedient to His direction.
- God will do a mighty work IN and through me.
- I will remain healthy with minimal physical pain and limitations.
- travel to and from and in country will be smooth and without incident.