Friday, June 26, 2015

Missing Romania

I hate goodbyes. I hate loving so deeply and leaving or being left. Yet, I know and trust that my God is sovereign in the people He brings into my life for a time. Not many people stick around for a lifetime. Most are in our lives for a season--to teach us, challenge us, stretch us, love us, encourage us (and us them). While it's difficult (sometimes seemingly impossible) to move from season to season and in and out of people's lives, I can take heart that I will see my dear brothers and sisters again one day--even if that day is in Heaven where we'll sing and dance and praise our Jesus together.

I particularly struggle with this each year when I go to Romania and further invest in relationships. Yes, I am fairly confident that I'll see the Romanian staff and my dear friends again some day on earth, but  I never really know year to year which kids I'll be able to see again, and that hurts.

Prior to traveling back to my second home this year, Leslie passed on a book to me that Angela had given her--Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. I read a bit before I left, a bit while in country, and I finished it just this morning. I have to say, Katie can explain my heart better than I can.

This quote in particular really spoke to my heart today:

Truth. Serious truth.

God doesn't call me to save the world. God doesn't call me to make sure every need of every orphan is met. But, God does call me to love and serve and give of myself where I am--sometimes that means in my classroom, sometimes that means in the grocery store, and sometimes that means in Romania. Although I feel so incredibly inadequate and useless when I'm only able to sit and hold a hand for an hour, I have to remember that God can (and will) use that if it's done in His name. I may never see that sweet little hand this side of Heaven again, but if that child chooses Christ, I know I can hold that hand again in eternity. What is better than that?

It's not about me. It's not about my heart missing the kids or my team or my friends in Romania (or those left "behind" in various stages of life), it's about God knitting our hearts together for a time for HIS PURPOSE and glory.

As I sift through pictures and attempt to transition to life back home, I need to cling to those truths. God has a plan for my life and for my tomorrow. May I seek that out always. 

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