Wednesday, August 29, 2012

You Just Never Know...

Things can change in a minute. 

Today was the day! The day I was going to get my cast off. I woke up excited. I went through each class period excited.

3:30 could not come soon enough....

I knew I had a rough road ahead. I knew I wasn't going to be walking out of the doctor's office. I knew I'd be going to physical therapy. I knew it would be hard.

I was ready. I was ready to take a shower, ready to wiggle my toes fully, ready to get rid of this super funny feeling in my foot...

I giggled while the guy took my cast off (it does feel super funny), and I was anxious to see my foot.

It was finally off.

And my foot....looked....different. The colors were off. It was swollen. Ok, so it's been in a cast for a month. No big deal, right?

Doc comes in--not mine, but another one (mine would pop in later)--and starts looking at my foot, and touching in, and running his fingers across my foot and leg, and poking certain parts of my foot and leg.

His face looked off.

He said he was really concerned.

It was so cold in the room--I was freezing, and freaked, and I couldn't stop shaking. He wanted to get Dr. Z in the room before he was certain of what he was seeing, but he thought it was CRPS...

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (Doc made me swear not to google it. If you choose to, please don't say anything to me about it).

He left. We waited. I shook.

My doc came in, looked down, and exclaimed, "No, no, no, no, no, no!" No joke. Those are never words you want to hear out of your doctor's mouth. Ever.

He explained that it can happen with trauma (and a surgery is a trauma), but he was baffled--the surgery went so well, everything seemed fine, but something triggered it.

The nervous system went into some sort of shock and freaked out and messed stuff up (that's all technically medical of course).

I just sat and held back tears and tried my hardest to listen. He kept saying--we will fix this, we will get ahead of this, this won't get the best of you! Apparently this is a really big deal...

What now?

Physical therapy stat. Pain management center stat for a nerve block in my back of some sort (that sure made those welling tears start to fall...). 

Keep working so that I'll be distracted and not be thinking about the pain. Keep focused. Don't let me pain get ahead of me. 

Is this really happening? 

They wanted me to get into one of those places this afternoon, but neither office answered. Doc told me they'd keep calling and get me in ASAP--obviously the sooner the better.

I have my physical therapist's cell number, so I shot a text out and told her what was going on. And guess what? She wrote her doctoral thesis on this very thing. :::Sigh of relief::: God is good. He's putting me in good hands...

I trust that He will carry me through this. I trust that He can work a miracle.

I feel somewhat validated for being in so much pain--I guess it's not just because I'm weaksauce. 

You just never know. Things can change in a minute. I knew I'd have a long road ahead--I just never imagined it'd take this turn.

So I'll keep letting God drive, even though it's not easy. I have to lean on Him, because I (literally) don't have strength of my own. I'll let him work a miracle and heal me if He wills.

I'll hang on. Pray for me? Thanks. :)

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