Here is another blog post from FIVE years ago. To check out my first one, click here.
September 19, 2009 at
12:09 am
But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal
well with me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver
me.
My God is Sovereign. He deals well
with me, for His name’s sake. I praise God for that–for His Sovereignty, His
goodness, faithfulness, justice, and provision. I could go on and on about the
characteristics of God. I have been reading through the Old Testament and it’s
been amazing to learn more about God’s character and His Sovereignty. He had a
plan when He created the universe, when he decimated the earth in the flood,
when He brought forth Israel out of Egypt, and when He created me. My God is
the same yesterday, today, and forever.
The God who (literally) woke me up
this morning (my alarm clock certainly didn’t) is the same God that spoke to
Moses in the burning bush. Wow….plain and simple.
My God is wise and good and
faithful–He is Sovereign and His plans are good.
Good thing too–because if I had my
way, I’d no doubt screw it all up. Like I wrote previously, I had plans of my
own. Thank you God for not allowing me to follow my own plan. Thank you for
being the Lord of my life and granting me wisdom, discretion, and peace. How
sweet is your peace…
It’s a miracle watching God work.
He does it constantly, but how often do we stop to notice it? I won’t go into
elaborate detail, but the new subbing system in the district I came home to
work for is quite different this year because of all the budget cuts. I thought
I would hardly be able to work, and I was at a loss for what I was to do.
However, as it turns out, with the way the system is working (and all the
wonderful secretaries I know that have put me on preferred lists), I’ve subbed
every day for the last six days and I have sub jobs already lined up for next
week and a couple into October. God knew exactly what He was doing when He
brought me here and He IS providing for me–in ways I would have never expected.
As a matter of fact, I was actually
terrified to start subbing. I didn’t sleep at all the night before my first
job. I was shaking the morning I left to drive to the school. Confidence in
myself is something I really struggle with. But, what an amazing thing that is.
If I don’t have confidence in myself, I have to look elsewhere–to God. He has
done well to keep me humble by having me struggle with confidence. He makes
sure that as I stand up in front of a classroom of budding minds, He is there
with me, guiding me, directing me, teaching and loving through me. Those kids
don’t need me and my love–they need God. I am so grateful He allows me to be an
instrument for Him. May I never get completely comfortable, may I never fully
rely on myself, may I never think that I’m all that my students need…I’m far
from it.
Subbing isn’t always easy. I don’t
like not knowing from day to day whether I’ll work or not. I want to hit my
alarm clock some mornings, and I’m so glad when Friday rolls around; yet, I’m
working, and I must praise God for that! I am gaining so much experience, and I
pray that I am at least making a slight impact on a life here and there.
There are still lots of uncertainties
about living here now. So much of my future is unclear. But, I stand on the
promise that my God is faithful and my God is Sovereign. Why should I doubt?
Why do I continue to doubt? My God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
He has a plan for His name’s sake, not mine. May my life be lived for His
glory, never my own. My plans are futile; His are perfect.
Why wouldn’t I trust in perfect?
But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your
name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
Stay tuned for my reflections on this blog post and how things have changed (or not) in the last five years.
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