I Must Never Forget...

...the way Stefi played with my hair and said my name over and over as I held her on the way to the park and McDonalds.

...Flori's story from the night prior and how very broken my heart was as I heard it. 

...the way Bibi kissed my phone and wouldn't stop giggling as we FaceTimed Brooke. 

...Little Rabbit's belly laugh as I sang to him, tickled him, and "stole" his nose. 

...Stefan's incredibly sweet heart as he held up the music lyrics for me to sing during worship.

...Gabi and Cristina's joy in seeing Mama and me again and finally being able to speak to us in English. 

...how Larisa would not leave my side the entire afternoon. 

...Florina's joyful laugh as we played Dutch Blitz with the kids.

...the absolute joy of reconnecting with former CTL staff members and current dear friends. 

...my team and the sweet memories we shared--including the rain storm in Sinaia. 

Missing Romania

I hate goodbyes. I hate loving so deeply and leaving or being left. Yet, I know and trust that my God is sovereign in the people He brings into my life for a time. Not many people stick around for a lifetime. Most are in our lives for a season--to teach us, challenge us, stretch us, love us, encourage us (and us them). While it's difficult (sometimes seemingly impossible) to move from season to season and in and out of people's lives, I can take heart that I will see my dear brothers and sisters again one day--even if that day is in Heaven where we'll sing and dance and praise our Jesus together.

I particularly struggle with this each year when I go to Romania and further invest in relationships. Yes, I am fairly confident that I'll see the Romanian staff and my dear friends again some day on earth, but  I never really know year to year which kids I'll be able to see again, and that hurts.

Prior to traveling back to my second home this year, Leslie passed on a book to me that Angela had given her--Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. I read a bit before I left, a bit while in country, and I finished it just this morning. I have to say, Katie can explain my heart better than I can.

This quote in particular really spoke to my heart today:

Truth. Serious truth.

God doesn't call me to save the world. God doesn't call me to make sure every need of every orphan is met. But, God does call me to love and serve and give of myself where I am--sometimes that means in my classroom, sometimes that means in the grocery store, and sometimes that means in Romania. Although I feel so incredibly inadequate and useless when I'm only able to sit and hold a hand for an hour, I have to remember that God can (and will) use that if it's done in His name. I may never see that sweet little hand this side of Heaven again, but if that child chooses Christ, I know I can hold that hand again in eternity. What is better than that?

It's not about me. It's not about my heart missing the kids or my team or my friends in Romania (or those left "behind" in various stages of life), it's about God knitting our hearts together for a time for HIS PURPOSE and glory.

As I sift through pictures and attempt to transition to life back home, I need to cling to those truths. God has a plan for my life and for my tomorrow. May I seek that out always. 

Sinaia Saturday and Sad Day Sunday

I'm sitting on the couch in the ministry center with music blaring from my phone in an attempt to fill the deafening silence left by our team (and the staff and kids). We're awaiting our flight to Budapest and feeling quite strange being here alone. This place was made for loud laughter and love... it's a bit too empty right now.

But, enough of that for right now. Let me update you on our goings on yesterday since going to bed at two this morning did not leave much time (or brain power) for blogging. 

We awoke a bit early yesterday to get ourselves ready and down to the train station to catch our train to Sinaia. I ended up sitting with Sara, Heather, and Jamie on our journey. We enjoyed some good stories and the scenery a bit, but eventually Yahtzee took over and we tried to keep our volume down as we attempted to continually roll five dice on a side table the size of a piece of notebook paper. Perhaps my favorite line was when Sara explained that she couldn't go for a Yahtzee anymore because she had "turned it off" (crossed it out). I couldn't stop laughing. It was good for the soul. 

When we got to Sinaia, the weather was cool and gorgeous. As we walked/hiked up toward the castle, we took short breaks every so often to rest and discuss a debrief question. Although this wasn't the usual method of debriefing, it worked quite well, I'd say. I think it gave all of us time to really think through and process all we had learned and experienced. When we got to the castle, Marc went to purchase our tickets, and we stood in the enormous beauty of the courtyard and continued to debrief. And, fortunately, we had a bit more time there than expected because the ticket people had poor Marc on a wild goose chase to get our tickets, the receipt, and correct change. Marc, you're amazing--THANK YOU!

Although I've been in the castle a few times, each time proves to be a new adventure. Upon this particular occasion, the adventure came in the form of a stalker. No joke. Apparently in the five minutes that it took us to begin the tour, a dude from Texas had fallen in love with me. Pe bune? (For real?) I actually found it quite hilarious, as did Waylon who wanted to give him my number. Fortunately, I stuck close by our dudes and wasn't much bothered by it. 

After the tour, we met back up with Marc and the rain that had just begun, and we headed down to lunch. I have to admit that I was a bit frustrated when we couldn't all sit together at lunch as I knew our time to debrief was limited and valuable, but I just had to hand it over to God and trust that he'd provide the right time for us. That he did. As always.

Since our tables were near to each other, we shook off the uncomfortableness of speaking in public and were able to get through a few good questions before our food came. I had Schnitzel and savored every bite. It was seriously AWESOME. Oh, and guess who showed up at the same restaurant for lunch? My new"bff" from Texas. Serious? Haha. 

A bit of souvenir shopping was our next order of business (Sara and Heather, I need pictures when you wear your blouses!) as we did our best to stay sheltered from the rain. Fortunately, the storm held off until we were pretty well finished shopping, but it came on quite strongly as we headed back to the train station. As many of my PA teammates were subtly grumbling under their breaths at the rain, I was like a little kid at Christmas. I giggled with delight at every roar of thunder and flash of lightening. I loved it! I'm fairly certain that Marc and Mama shared in at least a little bit of that sentiment as we're so used to not having weather. We arrived back at the train station sopping wet, but smiling.

On the ride home, our seats were still separated a bit, but we were all in the same area,  basically set off from the near by sections.  Because of that, I spent most of the trip back leaning over my seat or standing up talking to the rest of the team. We shared stories, secret talents, voices, and tons of laughs--we even threw in a few rounds of Two Truths and a Lie and Never Have I Ever. It was all quite enjoyable. I seriously love those non-structured, goofy interactions with my teammates, although they were few and far between this week with all we did.

When we got back to Bucharest, Marc took us back to Old Town to get Shawarma for dinner. Delicious! Oh! And, I ran into Denisa again in Old Town! It was seriously the sweetest surprise (and crazy to think that I could possibly run into someone I know as we're out and about--thank you, Jesus!). On the way back to the ministry center after dinner, we shared some awesome belly laughs (and I really am not even sure about what at the moment, but I'll always look back on that fondly and remember how much joy we were able to share in certain moments). 

We met Bogdan for a quick debrief of the week when we got back to the office, and after Bogdan and Marc left, we continued our team debrief. We first discussed re-entry, our futures with CTL, and how to handle all of that. Although it was already late, we then decided to go around and affirm each team member in some way. Whoever's turn it was sat on the hot seat and received affirmation and encouragement from every team member. I have to say, it was good thing we had an entire paper towel roll near by because the tears were certainly flowing. It was a special and powerful time to speak God's truth into each other's lives before leaving this country and each other today. I hated to see it end, even though I was beyond exhausted.

The team packed a bit last night before attempting to get a few hours of sleep. Goodbyes were beyond difficult this morning, but I have to trust that God will allow me to see them again soon. Now I'm praying they can sleep on the plane and be rested and ready as they transition back home. Please pray for them as well! 

Like I mentioned, we're headed to Budapest a bit later today for a few days before returning here on Wednesday and flying home on Thursday.  Be looking for pictures! 

And, although our time of ministry is finished for this year, God is not finished working in and through us yet. Please continue to pray for the team, the Romanian staff, and these precious little ones that have so captured our hearts (again!). I already can't wait to come back!  

  

 

Friday and Frozen

How can it be over already? The weeks seem to go faster each year I'm here. I hate goodbyes. I had to do a few too many of those today.

We began today with the Home of Hope girls and some kids from Tei.

Some highlights:

* FaceTiming with Aimee and Brooke so they could see the staff and the kids. Bibi wouldn't stop kissing the phone when we were talking to Brooke. It was the sweetest thing.

* The little kids putting Frozen tattoos all over us. I pretty much never want to scrub them off.

* Taking pictures of the Home of Hope girls in their matching blue dresses.

* Hearing belly laughs from the little ones. Best sound ever! 

After lunch, the kids from the #7 social apartments came to the office. This was the first time we've been with these kids this week, but there were a few of them that I've known from past years, so it was so great to see them. 

Some highlights:

* Playing Around the World with some of the guys out back. 

* See Larisa, Vio, and Carmen again. 

* Performing our skit for the last time. I'm a pretty awesome storm, if I do say so myself. 

* The kids asking some great questions after Brandon's testimony.

* Dutch Blitz with Florina (and the kids, of course, but Florina is the funniest). 

* Painting the fingernails of the girls (although I'm pretty terrible at it). 

After saying our goodbyes (wah!), we headed out with Marc, Delia, and Bogdan to dinner at City Grill. I quite enjoyed the Mici, the laughs, the live (English) music, and the great conversation. I'm seriously going to miss these people. Now we're back at the office enjoying a bit of time before crashing and heading to the mountains tomorrow for some debriefing time.

Thanks for your continued prayers. 

 

Thursday and Thrills

It's already Thursday?! Pe bune? How do the weeks here go by so quickly? I can't believe tomorrow is our last day of ministry. As always, I'm  going to miss this place like crazy! 

But, let's back up a bit to today... 

We began by wrapping up our teaching on Galatians--Dana and Kim did a phenomenal job--and some worship (one of the things I'll miss the most).

After our morning gathering, the staff had a meeting, so Brandon and Justin went back to work at Rehab while the rest of us went with Marc to the People's Palace. It's the second largest  building in the world (look it up!). I've been to the Palace a few times, so I wasn't overly excited to see it again, but I was looking forward to some time with the team. I must say, I wasn't disappointed. On our way, we stopped and played at a park for a few minutes because sometimes you just have to act like a kid. Since we were all dressed alike today  (see the pictures on social media), we took our fair share of selfies and really enjoyed just being together as a team. 

After lunch at the office, we headed out to Sf. Iosef, an orphanage that CTL has been working with for about nine months. The walk to the center was gorgeous, and the weather was amazing--thank you, Jesus! At the center, we met the kids, played a few games, sang songs, and then performed our skit about building our houses on the rock. Brandon then shared his testimony, and the once squirrely, talkative kids were glued to him. They asked some awesome questions  afterward, and it was quite encouraging to see just how well they paid attention and understood his story and all God had done for him. After a while, we went outside to play, face paint, and do nails. I ended up playing with Marc and the sweetest little boy ever, Stefan. I pretty much fell in love with him at first sight (when he sat right in front of me during worship and held his lyrics specifically so I could read them, while maintaining the most amazing smile). Monkey in the middle with a Nerf football has never been so fun! I hated to say goodbye to that dear little dude. 

After Sf. Iosef, we rode the metro over to Uniri. I thought we were just going to make a quick stop, but as we came up out of the Metro, Denisa (former CTL staff member and current good friend) was there to surprise me. I pretty much squealed with delight and wouldn't let her go. The team, Nelu and Florina, Denisa, and I spent a bit of time at Starbucks in Old Town so that we could catch up. It was so special to sit and reminisce, ask Denisa about some of my favorite little ones that she now works with, and FaceTime with Bailey. I hated to say goodbye to her after that as well. :(

After dinner, a few of us took a nice walk to the grocery store to pick up a few things to take home. I loved our time of good conversations and hearty laughs. Speaking of laughs, we couldn't really stop laughing after coming home from the store and trying to debrief with the rest of the team. Of course we began our time with as many dumb jokes as we could remember, but still... It is definitely going to be difficult to leave these amazing people in a few  short days. 

Thanks again for all your prayers and encouragement. Please pray that we'll make the most out of our last day of ministry together. Pray that God will continue to teach us all that he has for us. 

Isus te Iubeste! 

Wednesday and Worship

The days always begin much nicer after a solid eight hours of sleep. Praise the Lord! 

This morning, we had a wonderful gathering of worship, teaching, and prayer before heading back out (in the rain, I might add) to Rehab. Going into this morning, I was a bit unsure of how everything would unfold and where my place might be. When we were with these kids on Monday, we took them to the park and McDonalds, so I knew exactly what was expected of me. Today, however, we were going to stay at the center and sing, play games, face paint, etc.,  and I wasn't totally sure where I could best be used in that scenario.

Fortunately, God had a plan, and He knew exactly what He was doing. As soon as we arrived, one of the older girls dragged me into one of the bedrooms to see Stefi, the little one I spent the day with on Monday. I can't even tell you how wonderful it was to see her run up to me and hear her say my name. As I scooped her up into my arms and kissed the life out of her sweet little face, she proceeded to babble on about the other children in her room--most of whom were curled up in crib-like beds not moving. This, folks, is my heart when it comes to Rehab or  children with disabilities--the ones that need nothing more than a simple touch, a tickle, a caring hand, and a soft voice to tell them that Jesus loves them.  There isn't much greater joy than watching a little one who hardly moves and has a dead pan look on his face completely light up and start to giggle at the simplicity of human touch.

I knew at that moment that face painting would not be a part of my day today. Instead, I held back and just loved on some of the little ones that Brandon and Jamie have been working with. It was incredible to see what some of these kids could do with a little therapy and a lot of love--going from completely curled up in the fetal position for who knows how long to actually sitting up in a matter of days. There is much work to still be done, but I pray that the physical therapist there now has a few more skills, equipment, and tricks up her sleeve in order to better serve these little ones. 

My absolute favorite moment was when I was hanging out with Marios (Little Rabbit) and holding his arms, helping him clap, tickling his face, etc., and Justin started to play Mighty to Save on the guitar. I sang the song aloud not just to share music with the children, but to share my heart and my prayer and my hope with them. I know that I can do so little in the time that I'm here, yet my God is MIGHTY TO SAVE. He loves these kiddos more than I could ever imagine, and I know that he is with them; He is mighty to save. He alone is what they need. And, I couldn't help but think as I was kissing Little Rabbit's cheeks that I'll be able to see him again in Heaven one day. What utter joy that will be! I hated to leave. Seriously hated it. 

After Rehab, Bogdan and Nelu took us by the land that CTL was able to purchase recently for  their new ministry center. Although it is just an overgrown mass at the moment, I couldn't help but stare out over the land, praise God for all He has done in Romania over the last 20 years, and imagine with hopeful expectancy what God will do within this ministry over the next 20 years. If you'd like to be part of making this hopeful expectancy come to fruition, visit  www.childrentolove.org and "give" toward the Romanian ministry center (and everything you give will be MATCHED!). 

This afternoon was spent laughing, playing, singing, and teaching the kids from the counseling center more about what it means to build their houses on the rock of Christ. I skipped out for a short bit to spend some quality time with Delia. I am so grateful for the relationships I have been able to develop here. I am blessed to call some of the most amazingly Godly people on this planet my friends. Speaking of which, I also got to see Eliza (former staff member and current good friend of mine) this afternoon. It warmed my heart to sit in one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people and catch up on life. One afternoon is never enough!

This evening consisted of my favorite food--mici--and worship night. Like I've said before, I absolutely love worshipping in English and Romanian, and it's  even better to share that with the kids. A few of our team members shared their testimonies and completely touched the hearts of the kids and the staff, as evidenced by the fact that the kids did not want to leave when the evening was finished. It's always tough to say goodbye to them, but I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to see them again, Lord willing. 

I can hardly believe that this week is already more than halfway over. My heart is already starting to break at the thought of saying goodbye, but I just can't let myself go there yet. For  now, I'll say thank you for your prayers. Please keep praying for us, the staff, and these precious kids!

Isus te iubeste! 

Tuesday and Trials

After quite a challenging evening, we met to begin another full day of ministry. Like I've mentioned before, the enemy is real, the Spiritual battle is real, and we know that Satan would like nothing more than to break us down. Little does he know that cracked jars of clay are able to show the most light. God is showing us over and over that His strength is made perfect in our weakness--and great are our weaknesses. 

Yet, God always provides. This morning it was in the form of some CTL staff members and dear friends who took me aside and encouraged me/laid into me. This evening His provision took the form of one of our teammates asking to pray over us, the leaders--I can't even tell you how much  that was needed. God also provided greatly in the form of encouraging letters from home for each of our team members. (Thank you, Auntie--your words were exactly what I needed this evening). 

Ok, rewind a bit--being that is was Tuesday, we got to go to Tei today (a center for little ones from extremely poor families). This is always one of my favorite places to go, so I was quite excited to go and see some of the dear little ones that I've fallen in love with over the last few years. On the way, the skies (and our stomachs) opened, so we had to stop for a moment and eat soft pretzels in the rain--so amazing! When we got to Tei, I was a bit disappointed because "my kids" weren't there. They were out for some reason, so we worked with the even younger ones. My disappointment didn't last long as the dear little ones clamored  to sit on my lap, be held, be tickled--simply be loved. And, about halfway through the morning, one of the little girls I've known and loved for the last few years came by the center after a doctor's appointment. Although I was quite sad that she wasn't well, I was incredibly happy to be able to see her. Please pray that sweet Bibi gets well soon!

As the team worked at Tei, Jamie and Brandon went back to the center for children with disabilities to work more with the physical therapist there and assess and meet some of the needs of the children. From what I hear from them, they had another amazing day there and are looking forward to going back more to work with these precious ones. 

When we got back to the office, some of the kids from the counseling center were already here. As I was looking at pictures on Nelu's computer, Florina came over, covered my eyes, and spun me around. As I opened my eyes, I saw Cristina, a girl that I fell completely in love with a few years ago. I couldn't grab her quickly enough, and I seriously did not want to let her go. I just kept giggling and squeezing the life out of her. I had much the same reaction when her little sister Gabi came in later.  Those girls are simply amazing. We all had a great time singing, sharing our lesson, and playing games. Fortunately, we'll get to see them all again tomorrow, so I'm quite excited about that! 

During the afternoon as we worked with these kiddos, Sara was able to go with Nelu to Ana's kindergarten graduation to take pictures. She's the oldest girl in the Home of Hope, and is the kid that Sara has been specifically praying for since our training. It was quite memorable for Sara, and I don't imagine Ana will soon forget about it either.   

After the kiddos left, we had dinner and met as a team. Now we're all getting ready for tomorrow and hopefully heading to bed early. Please keep praying for sleep, strength, and God's provision and direction. 

Thanks for all your support and encouragement thus far!