The Narrow and the Wide

My students have been reading and studying Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken." One of the activities that they are currently working on is writing their own poems about important decisions. I wrote one of my own to share with them as an example. They are all works in progress, but I'm pretty impressed so far with what they've come up with. I may share some on here when they finish (if I have permission!). Until then, here is mine:

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The Narrow and the Wide

Two roads stretched before me, 

The narrow and the wide

And knowing I’m but one person

My heart, my loyalty I couldn’t divide.

The narrow required surrender,

Yet beckoned with new life

Calling me to lay it all down,

Turn out of darkness; into light.

But the wide was so appealing

With its promise of pure pleasure,

Immediate satisfaction and gain

And success beyond measure.

Two roads stretched before me, 

The narrow and the wide,

And I knew I had to make a choice

Something was calling me to decide.

The narrow looked anything but easy;

Twists and turns were imminent.

Yet, looking to others gone before,

It all seemed so very worth it.

The wide was the simple escape

With its drugs and sex at little cost.

But, as I gazed upon its horizon,

Its inhabitants seemed empty, so lost.

Two roads stretched before me, 

The narrow and the wide-- 

It was time to journey forward;

Time to step up and lay down my life.

For I know this life was never my own;

I was created for something more. 

I’m meant to live for my Lord and Savior; 

It was Him I was made to adore. 

Success and fame don’t make it to the grave;

Earthly pleasures create only lasting pain. 

Drugs, sex, and money will inevitably fade,

While selfishness and pride are the only true gain. 

One road stretched before me--

On the narrow I journeyed forward,

Gaining abundant life and lasting joy;

Needing nothing than my Jesus more.

Goodbye (for now), Grandma

My dear Grandma passed away last week, and we spent yesterday celebrating her life. It was a day filled with family, friends, memories, laughter, lots of tears and tissue, and Jesus--mostly Jesus, as His name was truly lifted high because of her life.

My sweet Grandma with her youngest (me) and oldest (Christen) grandkids. 

With a shaky voice and tears fighting to pour out, this is what I shared at the service:

I lost the first of my four grandparents on July 17^th of this year when my grandma “at the beach” went home to be with Jesus. In fact, the last words I spoke to her were, “I’ll see you when we’re both with Jesus.” Losing her rocked me, though I grieve with hope, knowing that I will get to see her again one day. In order to process her loss and figure out how to even grieve, I wrote this poem:

Grandma

It is with trembling we let you go

With our hearts shattered

And tear streaks scattered

For we know this was not your home

It is so plain to see

That although you loved deeply

And lived life completely 

Your heart was set toward eternity

With hope we grieve your loss

For we know we'll see you again

With Christ our Lord in Heaven 

Because of His work on the cross

It is only goodbye for now

Though the pain is so very raw

One day we'll again dance and sing along

Together at our Savior's feet we will bow 

Thank you for your love and life

For the legacy you’ve carried on

With a confident strength all along

Thank you for pointing us to Christ 

So, with trembling we let you go

With our hearts shattered

And tear streaks scattered

For we know you are now truly home 

Imagine for a Moment...

This is a poem I wrote last year after returning from Romania. It was the only was I could process my thoughts and feelings and put them into words. This is still my heart....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine for a moment…

A place where

The air is thick,                            

Darkness overcomes light,       

Oppression reigns.

In this place,

Abuse is rampant,          

Bodies are used, sold;     

Hope is lost.                        

In this nightmare,           

Loneliness abounds,       

Lost ones cry out,            

Morning never comes.

You can open your eyes.

You can wake up

From this nightmare.

But the orphans can’t.

Can you imagine this pain,

This hopelessness, this nightmare

As your reality?

They have to.

Now imagine for a moment…

A place where

The air is bright,

Light trumps darkness,

Christ reigns.

In this place,

Hugs and kisses heal,

Loving arms reach out,

Hope is found.

In this dream,

Love abounds,

Laughter rings out,

Mercies are new.

Open your eyes,

Picture their broken faces.

We can make this dream

Their reality.

Never forget their pain,

Their hopelessness, their nightmare.

We’re called make a difference.

We have to. 

How to Deal 2.0

If you missed Monday's post about the challenges of singleness, click here.

If you missed Tuesday's post about How to Deal 1.0, click here.


Today I bring to you...

How to Deal 2.0: Poetry

Whether it's poetry or journal writing, writing in general is an excellent means with which to "deal" with our singleness (or any other challenges we may face in life). It's a safe way to be real and honest and raw. If we keep everything inside, we'll eventually explode...and let me tell you, that's not a pretty sight. 

I don't write poetry often. In fact, I wish I wrote much more than I do, but I have a couple of poems that I'll share with you:

I wrote this first one back in October of 2008.

Someday

I want to love you more

Each moment of each passing day

As I watch you turn my skies

To blue from deepest grey

I want to cling to your hand

As you hold onto my heart

I want to ache deeply inside

Each moment we're apart

I want to learn to trust you

As easily as I breathe

I want to love and laugh with you

With you I want to dream

I want to become your beloved wife

Your confidant and your best friend

I want to build a life with you

That only death may end

For I know God's plan is perfect

Though it's mixed with joy and tears

We will have trials and victories

As we serve Him through the years

I want to see our Savior

Each time I look at you

Knowing that His strength is always

Sufficient to see us through

So I pray that God will hold these hopes

As we travel our separate ways

And prepare our hearts for this great journey

Until we meet someday

This next poem was written in February of 2012.

Why Not Me?

I see all the black and white, 

Followed by the pink and blue. 

And I can't help but think,

Is this reality really true?

This was never my aim,

Though Your ways aren't my own.

Am I somehow to blame;

Will I always remain alone?

Why must I continue to wait?

Why them and not me?

If Your will is true and great,

Then why even let me dream?

These poems were written almost four years apart, yet the hopes, challenges, and desires imbedded in them remain the same. 

Perhaps in four years from now I'll be writing a different type of poem--one can dream, right? :) 

Take a Trip with Me...

Imagine for a moment…

A place where

The air is thick,                            

Darkness overcomes light,       

Oppression reigns.

In this place,

Abuse is rampant,          

Bodies are used, sold;     

Hope is lost.                        

In this nightmare,           

Loneliness abounds,       

Lost ones cry out,            

Morning never comes.

You can open your eyes.

You can wake up

From this nightmare.

But the orphans can’t.

Can you imagine this pain,

This hopelessness, this nightmare

As your reality?

They have to.

Now imagine for a moment…

A place where

The air is bright,

Light trumps darkness,

Christ reigns.

In this place,

Hugs and kisses heal,

Loving arms reach out,

Hope is found.

In this dream,

Love abounds,

Laughter rings out,

Mercies are new.

Open your eyes,

Picture their broken faces.

We can make this dream

Their reality.

Never forget their pain,

Their hopelessness, their nightmare.

We’re called make a difference.

We have to. 

Why Not Me?

Disclaimers:

1. I am not sitting here wallowing in self pity.
2. I don't cry myself to sleep at night or sob when I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" (not that there's anything wrong with that).
3. I don't burn green with envy when I see people's dreams come true.
4. I am actually quite content in life right now.
5. I trust in God's sovereignty and I KNOW His timing is perfect.

That being said...

       ...I sometimes do struggle with where I am in life.
       ...I do deeply desire to someday have a husband and family.

So, when those struggles or feelings arise, I write--so that I don't do #1-3 above.

I want to be real and honest, so here is a little something I wrote a few nights ago (no, it wasn't on Valentine's Day!)...

Why Not Me?


I see all the black and white, 
Followed by the pink and blue. 


And I can't help but think,
Is this reality really true?


This was never my aim,
Though Your ways aren't my own.


Am I somehow to blame;
Will I always remain alone?


Why must I continue to wait?
Why them and not me?


If Your will is true and great,
Then why even let me dream?

And for all of you single ladies out there (great, now that stupid song that everyone plays for the bouquet toss at weddings is stuck in my head), check out this blog--The Sexy Celibate--yup, you read that right. The tag line?  Thirty Something. Christian. Fully Clothed. Blogging About It. I haven't read much yet, and I'm already a fan. :) 

Child...

Here is another poem from quite a few years back. It seems appropriate for a day like today...

Child

I gave you
The tears to cry
So I'll catch them
When they fall
They parallel mine
Gracing your cheek
I hear your call
Your heart breaking
Piece by piece
Mine crumbles too
Can you believe me
When I say
Child, I love you


(November 18, 2007)

Someday

(I came across my old poetry notebook tonight. I thought I'd share a few of my old poems on the blog.)


Someday


I want to love you more
Each moment of each passing day
As I watch you turn my skies
To blue from deepest grey
I want to cling to your hand
As you hold onto my heart
I want to ache deeply inside
Each moment we're apart
I want to learn to trust you
As easily as I breathe
I want to love and laugh with you
With you I want to dream
I want to become your beloved wife
Your confidant and your best friend
I want to build a life with you
That only death may end
For I know God's plan is perfect
Though it's mixed with joy and tears
We will have trials and victories
As we serve Him through the years
I want to see our Savior
Each time I look at you
Knowing that His strength is always
Sufficient to see us through


So I pray that God will hold these hopes
As we travel our separate ways
And prepare our hearts for this great journey
Until we meet someday


(October 6, 2008)